For anyone who really knows me you won't be surprised when I tell you that I worry. A lot. I have all my life and sometimes it is paralyzing. (Heaven help me when I have kids!) I do this thing that Anthony has dubbed as "circling" where I go over things in my head over and over again. Lately I have done that a lot! The world is so confusing sometimes and it seems that everyone has different stories and motivations and how am I suppose to figure all of that out? How in the world can we make plans or know what is going to happen? Well...we don't. Yea, so, even as I write that I feel a little terrified. What if? what if? what if? That has always been my favorite question. Least favorite question? hmmm, I am not sure which. I just know that I ask it a lot.
Is there hope for a person like me? Someone who over analyzes EVERYTHING? Yes, I say there is. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the temple by myself. (I have only ever gone with Anthony.) It was a really good experience for me. Heavenly Father wasn't able to tell me that all of my plans would work out and that everything would be fine. Not at all. He just told me to stop circling and trust him. And why shouldn't I? He has always taken care of me before! So, as a note to myself: Rose, knock it off!!! You won't always know what is going on or what is going to happen but you will most likely keep breathing. If not, you will go home. Stop trying to be perfect NOW and understand everything. You have tried enough times that you should know that you aren't going to do it. Not now anyway.
That is all....
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